the blackbirds are rough today

On the refrigerator...

2012-02-07T19:31:00.001-11:00

Just three years ago I was officially diagnosed with Cancer. Happy Cancerversary!!! But hey, guess what? I'm still alive and well... Fu*k you Cancer! If my next MRI at the end of March shows stable disease, I will have had no progression in 1 year (Currently 10.25 months stable). Every day that I can spend with my wife, my work, friends and family, I'm happy.

Now... Here we come Europe! We leave Sunday for Switzerland and Italy (Photobooth business abroad!).

polaroid epitaphs: bird vs. ship

2012-01-08T13:37:00.002-11:00

all I ever wanted was to destroy myself.
…but instead, I ended up destroying you.
I was a battleship and you were
a duck,
a swan,
a water bird of some kind.

with your arms around my shoulders,
I felt the weight of all
my words drowning us both.

and even while gasping for air,
you held tighter.

I was a battleship and you were
silk to a cigarette.

with the start of one small smoldering hole,
the entire cloth was
devoured
thread
by
thread.

***For those who don't get it... this is not an autobiogrical work or post. This is indeed fiction, part of my ongoing series, "Polaroid Epitpahs". http://polaroidepitaphs.com

At The Carousel | The Burn Series

2011-10-28T19:01:00.007-11:00

At the Carousel #1: Gelatin Silver Print: 5x7: October, 2011

While it often seems like there is nothing happening... at least, from the silence between posts... I've been busy as ever. We just expanded to a new Chicago workshop, increasing our business footprint to about 15 employees, 1 studio/office with retail, 2 workshop/fabrication facilities (WI and Chicago), & one big old storage space. We are now hovering with somewhere around 60-70 photobooths in our stock (and they need homes, hence the expansion). So... yeah... I have not given in or given up. I push forward every day, strong as ever! I say, whose butt shall we kick next?

As I noted in a previous post, Catherine Edelman Gallery recently included my "Scrapbook Studies: The Burn Series..." in their Chicago Project. They recently posted a small selection of the project on their site. Give it a look-see when you have a chance. There are also some other really amazing photographers included in the Project.

Other Fronts: In just a few days, Andrea and I will be headed to the UK/Europe for business.... and a bit of pleasure. London - Paris - Amsterdam - Here we come, again! We'll tap into the blog from the other side of the pond.

Highland Mary | Polaroid Epitaphs

2011-10-28T18:51:00.005-11:00

I fell off the wall

when plaster gave way to the

weight of one-thousand prayers hanging

on a single nail.

A certain half-cracked silence floated over

Highland like soft piano keys tapping

as the glass tore itself apart from the frame.

New little symphonic shards projected

themselves across the floor,

crooked and stubborn.

I fell off the wall

when plaster gave way to the

vibration of so many voices resonating

on one thin wire.

I fell off the wall

when you forgot to

push me straight.

I fell of the wall

despite your attempts

to battle

gravity.

I fell off the wall

and cut your foot.

Booths, Bodies, Trucks and More...

2011-10-27T16:04:00.006-11:00

Booths & Bodies: The life and work of Anthony Vizzari from Philip Bloom on Vimeo.

A few weeks back my good old friend Sarah Estella came to visit our studios with camera "rock star" Philip Bloom. It was great to see Sarah again, as always.... but it was also a pleasure to meet Philip, who is a machine (in a good way) in his camera wrangling. As a still photographer myself, it was fun to watch him move about, pan, twist, swap lenses, etc. As a subject, I felt like I knew Phillip for years, but just met him that day. The result was a well shot documentary short. (I wish my voice was cooler and I looked more like George Clooney, but hey... you work with what you got!).

Philip literally has THOUSANDS of followers. I was on the road hauling photobooths from North Carolina to Chicago (AKA The Junkin' Trail). So, when my email box started exploding from the road, I was caught a bit off guard. The cool thing is that I'm not alone... other people also like vintage cameras. Well, what do you know! I guess that validates all my purchases over the last 16 years?

On other fronts.... we now have yet another new workshop. -This one is in Chicago. Our stock of photobooths is also now hovering somewhere around 70 machines. Also, back in September, my MRI scans came back stable again. I hope this means my diet is helping (because my stress levels surely are not in line). That makes for 6 months stable, for which I can't ask for more! Next scan in January. Andrea and I take off for the UK and Europe on Tuesday for two weeks. My hope is that I can check out and relax for a few weeks with a few new (old) cameras. -London, Nottingham, Amsterdam, Paris... and maybe some other stops along the way.

Old Man Books... #2

2011-10-09T19:51:00.002-11:00

"Old Man Book Store..."

2011-10-09T19:44:00.000-11:00

Been picking and hunting...

At the Wisconsin workshop today...

2011-09-25T16:19:00.000-11:00

Home Studio

2011-09-10T10:49:00.000-11:00

Look! Baby on wall!

2011-08-27T16:13:00.000-11:00

Magic Robot!!

2011-08-23T16:26:00.001-11:00

Need a chair?

2011-08-20T03:23:00.000-11:00

Junkin' on I-57 on the way back from Dallas.

Baylor U Photobooth....

2011-08-16T17:46:00.001-11:00

The main purpose of this trip was to install a Photobooth for our client, Baylor University, in Waco, Texas. -Mission accomplished! (On the way back to Dallas from Waco, I found a stash of old cameras for sale. Luckily, the van is now empty for our return trip to Chicago. Good picking ahead!!

Exstrophy of the bladder.

2011-08-16T17:43:00.001-11:00

On the road to Texas, we hit a bunch of yard sales in Arkansas. I found some spectacular, albeit gruesome, medical books from 1867. This particular book was about numerous medical conditions and surgical methods used to correct them. Ouch.

A $38 painting.

2011-08-16T17:36:00.001-11:00

On the Road: MO

2011-08-12T17:09:00.001-11:00

Photo, headed into a storm in Missouri. -- In route to Texas to deliver a photobooth to a client. It got pretty nasty driving, but we made it through.

On Lake Michigan

2011-08-11T16:59:00.000-11:00

Yes, this is film....

2011-08-03T18:01:00.004-11:00

I've unearthed some rolls of 120 from our trips to Mexico and Argentina... and, of course, some Wisconsin stuff. I've posted a few of the images in a Flickr set. Ahhh, it's nice to see film! (Camera: Fuji 645 Rangefinder ). Check them out....

A taste of Wisconsin...

2011-08-01T16:30:00.008-11:00

House on the Rock: Spring Green, WI
House on the Rock: Spring Green, WI

Roadside:Cobb, WI

I just got back some film from a few weeks ago. I've been giving my panoramic cameras a work out lately. We were up in WI this weekend, and I shot a lot of color film on the boat. It will be a few weeks before the fim is back. I also picked up a few nice Voightlander Bessa cameras that I'm in love with. So, more to follow...

After a long break...

2011-07-17T16:16:00.008-11:00

Scrapbook Studies: The Burn Series: "Lipstick, Smoke Stacks & Pearls": 8"x10" ( 1 of 1) Silver Halide Print/s; 2011

Scrapbook Studies: The Burn Series: "Yosemite": 5"x7" (1 of 1) Silver Halide Print/s; 2011

After a long break from the blog, an entry is surely due. The business has been going well. We hired a new group of employees this summer and they are fabulous. The new crew is great, all of whom are excited and working hard. Our in-house shop in Wisconsin is manufacturing booths at break-neck speed (thanks to our skilled and dedicated guys). We have recently had sales to England, Hong Kong, Spain, Texas, Alabama, North Carolina, D.C., and New York... to name just a few. I also just refurbished some more classic chemical photobooths...bringing them back from the dead.

We also acquired 30 more photobooths this summer (including 9 Polaroid booths secured for our friends at The Impossible Project). All these units and a TON of parts are now in our new WI storage facility. Once again, we have more stuff than space.

The retail component of our studio has also been awesome. It's a fun part of the business, which thus far, is performing better than expected. We have some really sweet cameras and film for sale. Truthfully, even if they never sold, I'd be very happy to keep them around! The web store is still in its infancy, but coming along. Stay tuned for updates: http://thevintagephotoshop.com

Of course, as always, the rental and permanent location part of our business has been solid and constant. -Not much to complain about there. So, I'm still staying very busy... Despite keeping a hectic schedule, I have been sticking to my heath plan. For the last 4 months, I've been going to Yoga regularly and eating a full vegan / low sugar diet. I've also given up all alcohol and refined sweets (goodbye red wine and Twix !). In addition, I have also been trying to manage stress and work/life balance. So, has this done anything for me? Well, it's hard to say. My recent 3 month scan (June) report was very favorable. As you may recall, my previous scans from March were showing marked tumor progression, with growth almost 4x in size in just over 5 months. And so, it was good news to see a report that said my disease has been "stable" for the last 3 months. In addition, it was noted that there may be some "suggestion of improvement". Apparently, a few of the tumors in a previous study were not visible on this recent scan. That said, the Radiologist's / Docs would not commit to this statement. No matter though, I'm happy with just being stable for a while.

The big question is; was it the change of lifestyle that helped create stability, or, just a coincidence? I don't want to be let down in the future.... so for now, I'm sticking to my diet and regimen, excepting that anything can happen next round. Taking care of myself is really all I can do. -The rest is cosmic.

On other fronts, I have been working on a new photo series.: "Scrapbook Studies: The Burn Series". I'm pretty happy with the work, which was just accepted into Catherine Edelman's "Chicago Project". Currently, there are about 40 pieces in this new series, started in March. When I get some time, I'll try to post a gallery of the work. Until then, here is some info about the project...

About the Series.

Behind every photograph is a fire unseen. -Broken hearts, a mountain view, family feuds, and odysseys, are trapped in life-still. With corners neatly pinned to black paper, the snapshot bawls from under its careful designation as personal record. The scrapbook is a diary, where if it is true that a picture is worth a thousand words, the compilation is an inferno raging against scotch-tape, glue, and careful penmanship.

Technique.

The images from this series were manufactured from vintage negatives, recently printed on expired paper stock (circa 1965 to 1990: using traditional fiber based papers such as Kodabromide, Kodak Polycontrast, Oriental, Etc.). Scrapbook images from original found photos are then collaged with these silver-halide (B&W) prints. Traditionally crude "scrapbook" materials are used in image manipulation (i.e., glue, tape, fire, scissors, paper, photo corners, construction paper, etc.)

Wisconsin

2011-07-14T17:22:00.001-11:00

Happy 4th of July

2011-07-04T13:48:00.001-11:00

Kane County...

2011-06-05T16:55:00.001-11:00

Taxidermy + Wicker + Swastikas = Kane County Flea Market

Emerald Motel: Vacancy Sign

2011-05-30T05:23:00.001-11:00

Memorial Day Weekend: Wisconsin #3

2011-05-30T05:22:00.000-11:00

Memorial Day Weekend: Wisconsin #2

2011-05-30T04:03:00.000-11:00

Memorial Day Weekend: Wisconsin #1

2011-05-30T04:02:00.000-11:00

show girls in 'Bama...

2011-05-18T15:52:00.001-11:00

Andrea actually took this photo.... That's my gal!

CNN - Paraplegic walks at UC Berkeley graduation with help of 'exoskeleton'

2011-05-16T15:32:00.000-11:00

Sent from Mail@anthonyvizzari.com's mobile device from http://m.cnn.com.

Paraplegic walks at UC Berkeley graduation with help of 'exoskeleton'

Austin Whitney is walking proof that determination -- combined with creative ingenuity -- can turn a seemingly impossible idea into a reality.

Paralyzed from the waist down since a 2007 drunken driving accident, he had worked hard to graduate on time -- and with honors -- from the University of California at Berkeley.

That was reason enough to celebrate. But nothing compared to how he accepted his diploma on Saturday.

Pressing a button on his walker, Whitney rose to his feet at the commencement ceremony. Then, with the flick of a switch, his legs moved across the stage.

The journey lasted seven steps. Halfway through, he glanced over to the cheering crowd of 15,000 people, who were also on their feet.

"It really was beyond my wildest dreams," Whitney said Sunday night. "I'm still decompressing ... it really was overwhelming."

Whitney was able to move his legs thanks to an "exoskeleton" created by a group of graduate students and Berkeley mechanical engineering professor Homayoon Kazerooni.

"They're absolutely amazing," Whitney said of the engineers. "They're my best friends at the university." He has been working with the team for several months.

The project that helped Whitney take his first steps in years dates back to in 2000,when Kazerooni received a grant from the Defense Advance Research Projects Agency -- a division of the U.S. Department of Defense -- to make an apparatus that would allow people to carry heavy loads for longer periods of time, according to Berkeley's media relations department. The idea was to help people to trek across rugged or remote terrain for longer periods, such as when military medics carry away an injured soldier or when firefighters trudge up stairs with their equipment.

Four years later, the idea culminated with the unveiling of BLEEX -- the Berkeley Lower Extremity Exoskeleton. The contraption, which has a backpack frame, connects to a person's legs and uses its own power source to move them without putting undue stress on the muscles of the human attached to it.

"We've designed this system to be ergonomic, highly maneuverable and technically robust, so the wearer can walk, squat, bend and swing from side to side without noticeable reductions in agility," Kazerooni said in a Berkeley press release at the time.

The professor said he envisioned bigger plans for his exoskeleton -- helping a person who cannot walk be able to.

While Kazerooni kept perfecting his exoskeleton project, Whitney was a star student at St. Margaret's High School in San Juan Capistrano, California. There, he was active in student government, participated in sports and acted in plays.

Whitney graduated from high school in May 2007 with a 4.0 GPA, sporting a bright smile and seemingly brighter future.

But his life changed two months later, on the night of July 21. After having a few drinks with friends, Whitney got behind the wheel of his car and then got in a horrific crash.

His best friend almost died, with doctors forced to remove his spleen and treat a fractured vertebra in his neck, according to a public letter from St. Margaret's released soon after the crash. Whitney suffered a broken back, and his spinal cord was instantly severed -- rendering him a paraplegic.

"I did it to myself," Whitney said. "I was consumed by self-hatred. But I realized I had two choices: I could live in the past and be filled with self pity ... (or) face the adversity in my life, not let this cover my goals and dreams and aspirations."

He chose the latter. Ten days after being released from the hospital, Whitney began classes at University of California at Santa Barbara. He eventually transferred to Berkeley, where he pursued a double major in political science and history.

Whitney plans to attend law school this fall and hopes to work in the entertainment business one day. But first, he'll start working full time at Kazerooni's lab on Monday.

Whitney met the professor last year after a friend from wheelchair basketball told him about Kazerooni's project. Whitney called Kazerooni, who invited him to his lab.

"It was like stepping onto the set of a sci-fi movie, this lab," Whitney said.

As a student, he became an integral part of the research team, which named a specially-designed exoskeleton "Austin" in honor of its first test subject.

Because others in the lab aren't paralyzed, "there's a lot of things they don't anticipate," Whitney said. "Once I test the system, I give them feedback. It's a very active role."

Kazerooni told the UC Berkeley News Center that exoskeletons currently on the market can cost more than $100,000. He said creating more affordable exoskeletons will enable more people to experience such technology.

Whitney said his type of exoskeleton isn't designed to replace the wheelchair, as it doesn't have the same amount of speed, agility and maneuverability.

"But there are so many health and mental benefits to be able to stand," he said. "I can't tell you what it means to walk across that stage and look the chancellor in the eye or be able to hug my mom while standing up -- that's priceless for me."

In addition to continuing his work with the exoskeleton project, Whitney also plans to continue speaking to high school students across the country about drinking and driving. In the past few years, Whitney said, he's reached about 40,000 students.

Now, he'll be able to tell them about graduating from college and redefining the impossible.

"When I stood up and I took the first few steps ... I felt a rush of memories," Whitney said. "Everything from the worst moments of my life -- the car accident, realizing I wouldn't walk again -- and then the best moments of my life -- being accepted to Berkeley -- and realizing, wow, I'm really here. I really was able to graduate in four years and wow, I'm really here walking, doing something I thought was 'impossible.' I'm much more hesitant to use that word ever again."

Cave City, Kentucky

2011-05-15T12:37:00.001-11:00

...junkin' part 2

2011-05-14T17:28:00.000-11:00

...junkin' in 'bama

2011-05-14T17:23:00.000-11:00

flea markets, junk shops and thrift stores.... Oh my! ... From FL to TN.

a reptile thing...

2011-05-13T16:52:00.001-11:00

beach detail #2

2011-05-13T16:51:00.001-11:00

beach detail...

2011-05-13T11:20:00.003-11:00

yes....I'm still alive.

2011-05-13T11:20:00.001-11:00

On vacation....

2011-05-09T14:24:00.001-11:00

wall paper....

2011-05-07T19:28:00.001-11:00

...in our room at a Savannah bed & breakfast.

Our new 312photobooth location in Savannah, GA

2011-05-07T19:25:00.001-11:00

We just launched our new location, and with it, a new territory. Our man Rob will be the full time "Photobooth Guy" for us here. Of course, I could not resist a few test strips after a bit of booth tweaking.

Central Camera - Chicago Loop

2011-05-01T16:43:00.001-11:00

MDW FAIR | What it Is

2011-04-21T18:41:00.001-11:00

I'll have some new work at the MDW fair this weekend in the "What it is" booth. It looks like there is going to be some great stuff to see... Come on out if you can!

April 21st 2011

2011-04-21T18:32:00.000-11:00

1 year ago today I had my liver / pancreas resection. I'm still here, so I guess that's progress, eyh?

Welcome to this world....

2011-04-11T16:55:00.001-11:00

Our new niece, Cora, was born today: 8lbs 2oz. Adorable!

Highland, Wisconsin #2

2011-04-09T14:00:00.000-11:00

I think I would like to live here, more...

Highland, Wisconsin #1

2011-04-09T13:57:00.001-11:00

We found this car in the woods along the side of the road in Highland. The ghost of a dinosaur, I suppose.

No chemo... veggies!

2011-04-06T16:19:00.000-11:00

I discussed the MRI results with the docs. Yes, the tumor has indeed gotten larger, but not overly concerning yet. So, we scan again in 3 months. We can hold off on chemo, for now. Headed to Block Center on Monday to get myself in order ASAP.

on wisconsin...!

2011-04-03T15:19:00.003-11:00

I'm not a religious person (at all).... but I love folk art and iconography. I hung these pieces at the highland house this weekend. Both are from thrift stores, of course!

We had some workers take up some of the flooring to do a plumbing repair, before we came up (long story). We found out that the main part of the house is one of the oldest homes built in Highland. There are layers of flooring built up, for which this was one... I wish it wasn't covered. I love this design! (Also, part of the house is built on unmilled log timber joists... very cool.)

UPDATE: The results of my recent MRI were not exactly what I wanted... it was what I had expected, but hoped would not be the case. My liver seems to be stable, which is the good news (i.e. tumors same size). However, the epicardial lymph node tumor, which became cause for concern in December, is very much progressive. From December to March, the tumor has increased in size from 0.9 x 1.6 to 2.4 x 2.9cm. Therefore, the node has nearly doubled in the span of 16 weeks (112 days to be exact). If we were to account for volume, we could say it potentially increased x3.* While the current size is not overwhelming, the recent growth factor indicates that this node (could) reach 7-9cm by the end of the year (assuming no intervention). To put this into perspective, that is about three inches, or, roughly the size of a plum. (Of course, this is mere speculation, since it could possibly stop growing...or, even increase exponentially - such is the nature of the disease.) But let's not forget, those cancer cells continue to spread throughout the body, finding new homes elsewhere to nest. A single tumor can have BILLIONS of cancer cells within it. And so, the question is, "what next...?" Well, the first step is acknowledging the truth. I have been living in absolute denial. While I often write candidly about my situation, I have been acting like a complete ass. Post surgery... -a surgery that most people awake from and find new beginnings... I awoke and decided to push myself into overdrive. I've gone from 2nd gear to 5th and run into the red. Surely, I have changed my diet a bit...but lapsed on numerous occasions. I pledged to live stress free and work less, but this also never came to fruition. Instead, I maxed my body to the extreme with 100hr work weeks, sleep deprivation, and constant work anxiety other compulsive tendencies. That is to say, in the last 11 months since my surgery, I have terrorized my body and mind. The evidence is of this is now very clear. -I have a progressive disease for which I have neglected to respond to. I have encouraged this disease with my lifestyle... and in that way, I am no better than the smoker who refuses to quit after lung cancer. I am addicted to stress... or work... or some combination thereof. I can also propose that this is a condition of denial? It's much easier to fill your time and mind with the constant chatter, instead of quiet reflection. Where does that leave me now? Well, it leaves me with few options but to either continue down the same path, or, make a radical change.

I feel good... I feel healthy... but I think the scans tell the real story. It's only a matter of time before this gets worse. Unless, of course... I SLOW DOWN and try to change my path. I have this vision, of me in hospice care with my wife at my side... at the age of 35, like a half-breathing corpse. I keep seeing this play out in my mind and the thought is gut-wrenching. It's not me that I feel bad for, but the absolute horror of putting my family through that slow agony. And for what reason? Because I could not stop working or take the time to care for myself? Frankly, I think that's selfish behavior. Nevertheless, I am indeed guilty. But enough I suppose, the damage is done thus far. My only real option is to change how I live with unwavering rigor. This will not be easy...

I have a meeting with my local oncologist on Tuesday. I'm also awaiting review of the recent scan from my doctor at Sloan. We will discuss chemo, but I think we may be able to push it off for another 3 months. I'm also have my appointment with the Block Center on the 11th, which now seems more important than ever. On a positive note, I took off the weekend with Andrea. We are currently at our house in Wisconsin. It's a nice way to decompress and actually relax. We did some driving around the country scouting for antiques. We hiked along the lake, napped, watched movies, and generally enjoyed a slower pace with each other. ( I might add as an aside, I'm very lucky to have such an amazing partner in life). For those who know me, this kind of slow living is very difficult for me. I quickly get fidgety and need to be on the move. Relaxation is not in my DNA... but cancer is. So, I guess I'll have to see if we can change that.

*Math and tumors: if we were looking at volume, we could assume the node is like an ellipsoid. The difference in disease growth was 0.9 x 1.6 to 2.4 x 2.9cm. For volume analysis, we need a 3rd dimension (axis). Because this is an unknown, we can use a constant (c- axis). For this exercise, I use 2.0cm as a constant. Formula (volume = Pi / 6 * (major axis* minor axis * vertical axis.) After running the numbers, we find that the volume of the node in December was 1.5 Cubic CM and in March, 7.3 Cubic CM. While the actual volume may vary because the real (c -axis) is unknown, it does not matter. We are interested in the increased percentage of volume growth. I'm not a radiologist, but I think this method makes sense because tumors are 3 dimensional, and therefore, it stands to reason that they should grow in 3 dimensions. While the scans show tumor growth nearly doubling, it could actually be much greater as proposed by this volume exercise.

birthday queen

2011-03-28T13:45:00.004-11:00

I've been slowly working on a new series of collaged negatives... But this time.... I'm mixing it up. I physically alter the negatives then head into the darkroom for printing. I then further work and collage into the final print. -This is a new for process for me. With this particular piece, I currently have 9 variations. Each one is entirely unique. I've also been printing on Kodak vintage paper that I got from a good friend of mine. Some of this paper must be at least 30+ years old . I just love the way it fogs and has a real antique feel. Technically, the paper going bad and the silver content somewhat fugitive. Nevertheless, I just love how inconsistent it is!

On other fronts, the studio and store front is looking awesome. We now have all of our Impossible Project ("Polaroid") film out for sale. I'll be posting some images of the shop shortly. Tomorrow, I have another MRI. From there, if we see further growth and/or tumor aggression, we move toward chemo. No matter what the results, I have already decided to defer chemo until after I visit the Block Center for Integrative Medicine. -It's right here in Chicago. It's not hokie-pokie stuff either, but a real approach to treating cancer with real doctors. My first appointment is April 11th. If I do need chemo, they will help to get my body ready with diet, mediation, and lifestyle changes.

More to follow... of course.

dirt cheap?

2011-03-27T15:42:00.001-11:00

...notice the graveyard behind the sign. I ran across this today while out and about.

my fortune...

2011-03-26T18:19:00.001-11:00

new work... in the darkroom

2011-03-09T14:28:00.003-11:00

I've been working on some new prints. I'm not in love with this one, but it's still a work in progress. This is image is a scan of the negative, 4"x4". It's a mix of color 110 film and medium format. I've been working on getting the print right in the darkroom. I prefer to have a very muted gray, rather than try to correct out with variable contrast filters. I like how the color negatives give off that soft gray when printed in B&W. Overall contrast of black and white is not required for this work. Seeing as though I'm printing with distressed negatives, there is a splendid imperfection. No need to toy too much with trying to find a full range. Instead, I rely more on dodging, burning, masking, and exposure / development times to get the print right. So far, I'm still working on the masking for this one. It's been a while since I've had time to print in the darkroom. So, even if I'm not happy with this piece, I'm just happy to get my fingers wet again.

Me purdy mug...

2011-03-07T17:17:00.001-11:00

Still kicking...

#4

2011-03-06T18:48:00.001-11:00

Bookcase #4...

Medical shelf

2011-03-06T18:46:00.002-11:00

Bookcase #3...

masks on a wall...

2011-02-26T15:39:00.003-11:00

Lookin' fine...

2011-02-26T15:02:00.001-11:00

CNN - Neglected graves home to 'invisible dead'

2011-02-26T13:32:00.000-11:00

Sent from Mail@anthonyvizzari.com's mobile device from http://www.cnn.com.

Neglected graves home to 'invisible dead'

Duncan Shropshire stops at the edge of the treeline, where the meadow becomes a forest. His yellow linen shirt is misbuttoned and crooked, leaving the bottom of his belly slightly exposed.

His 8-year-old daughter, Mia-Grace, stands a foot or so behind him, wiping her runny nose with the sleeve of her blue sweatshirt. After about a minute, she lets out a sigh of boredom.

Shropshire, 51, clasps his daughter's hand and begins leading her into the Northwest Georgia forest.

"This is where your ancestors are buried, back here," Shropshire says. "C'mon, I'll show you."

And with a loving tug, Duncan Shropshire shares with his daughter a key piece of their family's history.

Still holding hands, the pair weaves through the maze of thin pines, stepping over fallen oaks and basketball-sized sinkholes. Mia-Grace stays silent while her father seems singularly focused on moving forward. After five minutes, they reach a large clearing where rows of fist-sized rocks bulge out of the ground.

Each rock sits atop small depressions in the ground.

"You see those humps in the ground?" Shropshire asks.

"Uh-huh," Mia-Grace replies.

"Those are rows of graves. They're stacked like spoons here," Shropshire says. "There was a lot of people here. People of the 1800s are buried here. And I'm trying to keep it in your memory the way granddaddy kept it in mine so it won't be forgotten."

The two crouch over a large, flat rock with the words "Lewis Dickson, 4" scratched into it. To the left of the marker is a row of 12 rocks. To the front, there are four other rows of stones, varying in number.

"How long did they bury our kin here?" Mia-Grace asks.

"They started in the early 1800s, baby," Shropshire answers. "They worked our people to death here. They were slaves. And probably about 1905 is when they stopped burying in this area. Your great-great-great grandfather, a (slave-owning) man named Wesley, he had five children by this slave woman, your great-great-great grandmother. She is buried over here on this side. Her name is Molly."

Mia-Grace's light green eyes get big. "I'm worried I might step on them," she says.

"Oh, baby," Shropshire says with a laugh, "they're gone. They're gone! They're sleeping right now, waiting for the Lord to come."

A "rare" and "special" place

The Shropshire gravesite is in the Appalachian foothills outside Gore, Georgia. About 1,000 feet from the clearing is an old, abandoned church on a dusty dirt road. Experts say that if slaves or former slaves are buried at the site, it would be a unique archeological find.

"In Appalachia, it would be extremely rare to have a black or slave graveyard," explained Ruth Little, co-author of "Sticks and Stones: Three Centuries of North Carolina Gravemarkers." "The farms in Appalachia were small, and there were fewer slaves."

Little says slave cemeteries in the area would have been marked with field stones, like the rocks at the site, or wooden stakes that burned down.

"It's very regional and very local," Little continued. "I've seen on the coastal area with graves marked with seashells."

Other grave markers used in black burial cites throughout the Southeast include iron pipes, broken dishes, cups, bottles and live cedar trees, according to Chicora Foundation Executive Director Michael Trinkley. He specializes in cemetery preservation.

"The problem with preserving these types of sites is that African-American cemeteries are hard to find," Trinkley said. "You can think of the people buried there as the invisible dead. And not knowing where they are, or how many there are, makes them susceptible to loss."

Even if gravesites are recognized, they still might be destroyed for development. Trinkley points to the low country of South Carolina.

"The areas that were used for burial grounds," Trinkley explained, "those areas were close to water. They were considered waste areas, places where burying slaves wasn't a significant loss to the planter. Those areas today are among the most sought-after for real estate."

Officials in Chattooga County, where the site is located, say that they are unaware of any grave sites in the hills near Gore and that the site needs to be registered with the library as a cemetery before it can be considered for protection through local ordinances.

Trinkley and Little both say the potential historical importance of grave sites warrant investigation by local or state officials.

"What if in that grave was your mother or your child?" Trinkley asked. "It's an issue of respect and an issue of dignity. It's the last decision society and the individual make together."

"There aren't many traceable slave graveyards, and each one is special in it's own way," Little added. She says the Shropshire family can point to that spot and say, "This is where we're from; this is where our roots are."

Two cemeteries for two ancestors

Shortly before sunset, Mia-Grace and Duncan Shropshire head over to an old white cemetery about a mile from the forest gravesite. The dates on the gravestones suggest that it was used around the same time as the forest cemetery.

There, Shropshire and Mia-Grace walk over to a marble headstone that tops 10 feet. In front of it is a small plastic Confederate flag flapping in the breeze.

"This is Wesley Weatherspoon Shropshire. ... He was one of the colonels in the Civil War for the Confederacy," Shropshire says. "He had five children by way of a slave he owned by the name of Molly."

"My great-great grandmother?" Mia-Grace asks.

"Your great-great-great grandmother," Shropshire corrects her. He turns to point toward another grave site when Mia-Grace notices her father's misbuttoned shirt. She stops him mid-sentence and begins to fix the crooked buttons.

"Why is Molly buried over there and Wesley over here?" she asks.

"Because that's the way it was, Mia," Shropshire answers.

Mia-Grace's face is filled with intense concentration as she tries to undo the bottom button on her father's shirt.

Finally, she pries the button free. She looks up at her father and says assuredly, "But people are people. It doesn't matter what they are. They're all the same."

"That's a good thing to think, but back then it wasn't like that, Mia," Shropshire tells her. "The dark-skinned people were buried way back over yonder, and the light-skinned people were buried here."

Mia-Grace finally fixes her father's shirt, leaving it straight. Then, she skips over to the other end of the cemetery. Shropshire watches her race across the lot.

"You can't do well in life if you don't know your history. Without your history, you're nothing," he says.

Mia-Grace playfully hides behind a large headstone, calling for her daddy to chase her. A quarter-way toward her, he stops, turns around and yells back, "I reckon she'll be buried wherever she wants to."

Junk tv cameras

2011-02-25T19:04:00.000-11:00

Jesus, those ladies are fine...

2011-02-25T17:58:00.001-11:00

My book case february, 2011: #2

cradle to the grave...

2011-02-25T17:56:00.000-11:00

My book case february, 2011: #1

Dearest Elizabeth Camp,

2011-02-20T12:22:00.001-11:00

It was nice to visit with you again this winter, in Milford....

2011-02-20T06:35:00.003-11:00

I had a very good visit with Dr. Reidy at Sloan. We spoke in depth about the merits and pitfall of the proposed treatment courses. In a nut shell, there is no free lunch here. You can't get benefits from any of the inhibitors / chemo without some kind of side effect. We have chosen to go with the TEM+XEL Chemo route. The good news is that it's oral medication. That bad news is that it's in a sense, traditional nasty chemotherapy. The more aggressive tumors should respond very well to this treatment. That said, we have decided to wait for another MRI in April to review disease progression. At first glance, this seems counter intuitive. Dr. Reidy noted, we don't really have a full understanding of the progression of the disease. That is, we've only seen these 2 new nodes crop up in the last six months. Therefore, it might be possible that it's not moving as fast as we think it is. While these tumors appear to be aggressive, as pathology and scans seem to indicate, we do not really know the rate that they are growing at. If in April, we see the nodes greatly increase in size or quantity, we will move to chemo ASAP. If not, we wait and scan again. Basically, I feel good now, so Dr. Reidy thinks it's best not to pump me full of drugs if we can hold off a bit. It's inevitable that I will need this treatment... The question now is... when? The focus until that time should be on building up my immune system and living a healthy lifestyle.

The Impossible Project - NYC

2011-02-18T12:38:00.002-11:00

Spent a good chunk of time chatting with Dave at the Impossible Project. Coming soon, IP film to our studio in Chicago!

Welcome to NYC...

2011-02-18T03:44:00.002-11:00

EUS canceled

2011-02-17T03:10:00.002-11:00

My EUS was canceled yesterday (after being admitted - they almost had the IV started). Prior to the procedure, I spoke with Dr. Patil (Radiologist) at length and he did not think the EUS was necessary. I think there was some confusion as to a need for the exam... but we both agreed not to move on it. -I am comfortable with this decision.

The concern for EUS per Dr. Baum was to see if there was another tumor on the Pancreas. Per Dr. Patil, he was 99% sure this was not the case after further review of the scans. And as he put it, even if there were new pancreatic tumors, any future chemo or systemic treatment would be aimed at addressing them. (i.e., the EUS would be invasive and superfluous). Also, as Dr. Patil noted, a secondary Pancreatic cancer with different pathology would be very unlikely. So, while it is possible that there is new node and pancreas involvement, it doesn't matter much. Drug treatments will be systemic.

* note the round hot spot in the images composed in Bad Berka.... There a 2.4cm tumor floating in there... And a few others. Right now, this is what we can image. There are certainly tons of microscopic cancer cells swirling around inside of me...

Off to New York... Some photo business to attend to in city and cancer too...

back on the bus...

2011-02-15T17:20:00.008-11:00

The back door of a sweet mexi-bus.... San Francisco, 2010

Tomorrow I go in for an EUS at RUSH. (FYI: EUS exams suck...). Then, Thursday I head to NYC to meet with Dr. Reidy at Sloan Kettering. Basically, I'll be consulting her about my options. I'm looking for a third party opinion. Sloan is not particularly known for their PNET work, but Dr. Reidy has proven to me to be a "smart cookie" with honest intentions. Frankly, the "US NET experts" have been less than impressive. (i.e., Mt. Sinai, LSU, Iowa, Etc.... I exclude UNMC in this category because they don't explicitly claim to be NET experts, just damn good surgeons and people...).

Once I have some more info and advice, I'll take the next step. It's going to be chemo, inhibitor drugs, surgery, or a combo of sorts. None of the options are great.... and I really like my hair. As before, I feel fine. I've never felt sick. I only feel bad after I'm sliced, diced, drugged, poked and prodded. I'd probably be better off just eating my vegetables and taking my chances.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T15:59:00.002-11:00

If eating crepes is wrong.... I don't want to be right!

plastic window

2011-02-13T19:40:00.001-11:00

just a small piece of plastic keeps you from touching the sun...

Sunken ship of 'Moby-Dick' captain found

2011-02-12T19:46:00.001-11:00

Sunken ship of 'Moby-Dick' captain found

In an instance of truth being stranger than fiction, American author Herman Melville turned to a horrifying ordeal as inspiration for his 19th-century classic "Moby-Dick."

In 1820, the Nantucket, Massachusetts, whaling vessel Essex was rammed and sunk in the South Pacific by a sperm whale.

George Pollard Jr. and his surviving crew, initially using three small boats that were aboard the Essex, resorted to cannibalism while they drifted in the open ocean for more than two months before being picked up by other vessels.

The sea truly must have been Pollard's mistress, for he took command of another whaler. The captain and Two Brothers were off Hawaii on February 11, 1823, when the ship hit a shallow reef. The terrified crew, clinging to small boats, was rescued the next day by a fellow whaler.

Some 188 years later, maritime heritage archaeologists, working with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, found the Two Brothers shipwreck nearly 600 miles northwest of Honolulu, the agency said in a statement Friday.

"This rare archaeological discovery is the first discovery of a wrecked whaling ship from Nantucket, Mass., the birthplace of America's whaling industry," the agency said.

Whaling ships, part of America's expansion into the Pacific Ocean, explored portions of the Indian Ocean and the polar regions.

Expeditions from 2008 to 2010 yielded a large anchor of Two Brothers, cast-iron pots for melting whale blubber, bricks, whaling lances, harpoon tips, glass, ceramics and remains of the ship's rigging, NOAA said. Research and accounts from crew members helped verify the find.

The shipwreck lies off French Frigate Shoals in the blue waters of Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument in Hawaii.

Melville completed "Moby-Dick" in 1851, drawing on an Essex crew member's account of the remarkable event.

The twice-cursed Pollard retired from whaling, became a watchman and lived to be almost 80. Melville met him in Nantucket shortly after completing "Moby-Dick."

Author Nathaniel Philbrick wrote about Two Brothers and the Essex in "In the Heart of the Sea."

While the Essex story is linked to "Moby-Dick," Pollard must not have been the inspiration for its mercurial Captain Ahab.

"To the islanders he was a nobody," Melville said of Pollard, according to the Nantucket Historical Association. "To me, the most impressive man, tho' wholly unassuming, even humble -- that I ever encountered."

leaving Barcelona...

2011-02-07T13:30:00.003-11:00

We're about ready to head back to Madrid. I had no idea that Gaudi was hit by a bus... During the biggest comission of his life, and greatest monument in Barcelona... he is hit by a bus. That just sucks.

Cancer-versary

2011-02-04T11:35:00.004-11:00

A Door in Barcelona, Spain: Eqyptian Queen...

Skullman: A doorway in Madrid, Spain...

A Shop Window: Madrid, Spain...

A Different Shop Window, Madrid, Spain...

2 years ago this week, I recieved my official diagnosis via a dry phone call. So, I've made it this far. The last two years have been overwheling. We've traveled to mutiple countries, expanded the business more than twice, bought a second home, and had a major surgery. It's absoluately amazing all that has happend in a short amount of time. When I have chance to get away a visit a new place, I can breathe and think. I know that it's time, once again, to regroup and take up the cancer reins again. For 4-5 months, I felt as if it were gone. But the reaity is, it is still there. Things may get worse before they get better. However, I will continue to move forward with a passion and pursuit for discovery and new exepriences. There are many more walls and streets and doorways to meander.

Madrid was exciting... and I think Barcelona will awake certain ideals that may have fallen asleep along the way.

update: proposed treatment and status

2011-02-01T18:17:00.003-11:00

These are notes from Prof. Baum in Germany. I think it helps explain the current condition and proposed treatment regimen better than I can.

"Anthony has several extremely hypermetabolic (FDG-avid) lesions, which usually is a sign of tumor aggressiveness. Therefore he has – according to the new NANETS/WHO classification of 2010 (see attached) – a so called mixed neuroendocrine carcinoma (see page 609) which was also confirmed by the immunohistochemical studies we have performed on his primary tumor in the pancreas tail and the liver mets."

"I proposed to him yesterday exactly TEMODAR+XELODA for chemo (A more aggressive alternative (if this combination fails) would be Cisplatin+Etoposid.)"

"However, one could try first SUTENT for 4 weeks (approved for pancreatic NET in Europe) or NEXAVAR (Sorafenib) or AFINITOR (Everolimus), then repeat the FDG-PET/CT and measure the metabolic response to the treatment with one of the kinase inhibitors. If it fails, then persue with TEM+XEL, if it works we would do follow up every 3 to 6 months. 5-FU alone is not effective in our experience."

"Actually the Ga-68 DOTATOC SMS receptor PET/CT (done yesterday) showed that there was obviously a very good response of the differentiated metastases as the somatostatin receptor positive lesions have nearly gone (there are only few weakly positive lesions seen in the residual liver and there are no extrahepatic sites)."

"I suggest that he has in addition a EUS (eventually with biopsy) with special focus on the pancreas head/corpus as the FGD-PET/CT shows a very hypermetabolic lesion in this region (attributed as “aortocaval lymph node” in the PET/CT report) which could, however, also be a second primary tumor in the pancreas."

update: what would francis bacon think...?

2011-01-31T20:52:00.005-11:00

This is a slice from my FDG PET showing one of the tumors in question. It doesn't look like much, but it's something! These fused scans kind of remind me of Francis Bacon paintings... I've always been a big fan. I guess that's a plus?

We had a very long day (13hrs) at the Hospital in Bad Berka. I underwent a number of scans, and labs, followed by a consult by Dr. Baum. The meeting with Dr. Baum was indeed illuminating.

For a more accurate recap, it would be too complicated and a bit long winded for a blog post. In layman's terms, it looks like my disease is a more extensive than the new nodes seen on recent MRI and FDG PET (there are also a few hot spots in the liver). PRRT is not an option per Dr. Baum, since these tumors are much more aggressive and will not respond to PRRT (receptor negative on Ga-68, but very hot on FDG PET, if I have that right). Dr. Baum thinks surgery would only be a temporary measure and is suggesting I investigate various inhibitors with FDG PET / CT monitoring (i.e. anti-proliferation drugs which have had some success...). Therefore, surgery is not advised at this time. However, the surgical team at UNMC thinks that they can remove these tumors. (Problem is, you can remove the tumors, but they will crop up elsewhere....therefore, the surgical benefit may be limited). So, I have some more foot work and/or research to do here. There are a few oncologists that Dr. Baum has recommended (including MSKCC, for which we are seeking an appointment in the coming weeks). Dr. Baum had also suggested that we have an EUS performed. From our discussion, there was some concern that one of these tumors may not actually be on a lymph node, but on the head of the pancreas. Via the current scans, it's difficult to say for sure, hence the EUS. If it's on the pancreas, this might explain a few things (i.e., possibly a secondary primary). Biopsy would probably not tell us much, but location might. Once again, Dr. Baum has reiterated that Octreotide would not be useful in my case.

In short, I have a hybrid / mixed tumor. Part of it is under control, while the other is definitely progressive. My liver and pancreas surgery helped a good deal to douse the flames. Unfortunately, this is not an indolent disease. It looks like the rate of growth is doubling in about 6 weeks time (if we use the math from recent scans). Furthermore, we recently found out that it's not correct to classify it as Carcinoid. This is PNET, and there is a difference.

Of course, I'm feeling more than a little screwed here. These new revelations are not uplifting. There is some hope for drugs that have had success, so we'll see. Also, all my labs are normal, no bone mets, and I feel healthy. That's a huge plus on my side.

So, we will go back to Berlin for a few days then head to Madrid and Barcelona before returning to Chicago. We need the break. After we return, a lot is going to have to change on the home front. I don't entirely know what that means yet, but I suspect it has a lot to do with diet, exercise and work load. That is, I'm going to have to reexamine my priorities, yet again.

Ps... the German's have their shit together in Bad Berka. If anyone out there is a patient and needs help, get yourself in touch with Baum! I can't express this enough!

on to Weimar

2011-01-29T23:14:00.003-11:00

...this is a icture of a two headed calf that has nothing to do with this post...

After getting to Berlin, we spent most of the day catching up on sleep. In the evening, we had a nice long stroll, followed by some good Indian food (lots of veggies). After last time, we learned if looks traditional German, or uses "brat" anywhere in the name, it's not for us. Also, we stay away from places with oversized beer mug signs and "little chef boy" motifs. We are headed to Weimar via train. Tomorrow is the big day at the clinic in Bad Berka to see what happens next. It will most likley be a LONG day.

Off to Germany!

2011-01-28T11:45:00.001-11:00

A nice photo of my work bench. It was an insane week of work required prior to leaving... We are spent! So, maybe we can try to relax for a few hours, if not days.

...saw this in a shop...

2011-01-21T19:17:00.001-11:00

...birthday...

2011-01-19T18:57:00.002-11:00

Today was my birthday. I purchased 8 vintage cameras, a pile of photos, 4 photo journal mags, two lead mini red cows, a red cross pin, 8 books on the American landscape, and a Japanese toy spy cam. I also got the report back from FDG PET scan. It looks like the cancer has spread into some of the lymph nodes around my heart. We are still waiting on more info, tests and a plan.

...but let's not forget Poe's birthday... And Cezanne too!

Marilyn

2011-01-11T16:10:00.004-11:00

passport photos

2011-01-10T19:01:00.001-11:00

carte de visite

2011-01-05T17:10:00.002-11:00

05 January 2011

head shots & Germany

2011-01-05T17:00:00.006-11:00

I just started this series. Right now, they are just studies. While I was working with the LIFE mags, I picked up some photos in the studio. It's nice to have the photobooths up and running all week. Every night before I leave the studio, I've been spending a little time taking pics. We'll see what comes next.

On another note... we booked our tickets to Germany (with a little side trip to Madrid & Barcelona, Spain - assuming all goes well in Bad Berka...)

LIFE (take two)

2011-01-04T14:41:00.003-11:00

I guess a lot can happen in a day...week, month, year, decade, century and so forth? Maybe that's why they called it LIFE? I don't think I'd want to relive any of it? One cover is a movie start, while another is the end of the world. It's hard to keep that up...

LIFE

2011-01-03T13:48:00.003-11:00

I've been buying up LIFE magzines on the cheap lately... the covers have some of the most iconic images of the last century. And of course, the advertising is amazing. My favorite period is 1940 - 1969. I'm not entirely sure where this series is going, but I've been having fun with it. The magazine look even better in the vintage B&W strips. Here are a few from our Digital-Retro booth, in color.

Pathology Update: TKTL-1

2011-01-02T12:38:00.004-11:00

After many months, we have the pathology results from Germany. The following was found after analysis of the tumor tissue post-surgery. It's somewhat involved, but it explains why we saw such strange results with FDG and Ga-68 PET scans:

"Immunohistochemistry has been performed and revealed the following:

Proliferation rate (Ki-67 measured using MIB1 antibody) was 10-20% in both tumors (liver metastasis and primary tumor)."

"The liver metastasis did not express SSTR 2a (Somatostatin receptor Subtype 2a), and in 20 % of the cells a weak expression of SSTR 5."

"There was a strong expression of TKTL1 (the marker which is correlated with FDG uptake and aggressive behavior of tumors)."

"The primary tumor showed moderate expression of SSTR 2a and SSTR 5 in 80% of the cells and strong expression of TKTL1 in 70% of the cells."

"What is really remarkable in this case is the different expression of the neuroendocrine markers in the primary and the metastasis which indeed was shown already by the Ga-68 SMS-R and the F-18 FDG PET studies"

CNN - Arkansas game officials probe mystery of falling birds

2011-01-02T05:10:00.004-11:00

Arkansas game officials probe mystery of falling birds
Arkansas game officials hope testing scheduled to begin Monday will solve the mystery of why more than 1,000 blackbirds fell from the sky just before midnight New Year's Eve.

The birds -- most of which were dead -- were found within a one-mile area of Beebe, about 40 miles northeast of Little Rock, the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission said.

Karen Rowe, an ornithologist for the commission, said the incident is not that unusual and is often caused by a lightning strike or high-altitude hail.

A strong storm system moved through the state earlier in the day Friday.

Officials also speculated that fireworks shot by New Year's revelers in the area might have caused severe stress in the birds.

"Since it only involved a flock of blackbirds and only involved them falling out of the sky, it is unlikely they were poisoned, but a necropsy is the only way to determine if the birds died from trauma or toxin," Rowe said.

The dead birds will be sent for testing to labs at the Arkansas Livestock and Poultry Commission and the National Wildlife Health Center in Wisconsin.

Kodak Instamatic 500

2011-01-01T06:57:00.003-11:00

I just got this Kodak 500. It's a sweet little instamatic for which only 2000 or so were originally produced. It has a sharp little German lens. The film is no longer made but you can reload old cartridges with 35mm film.

312photobooth in the news...

2011-01-01T06:10:00.003-11:00

Posted in the Tribune Local:

http://tinyurl.com/2aw85uo

Happy New Year Garbage Legs!!

2010-12-31T09:44:00.001-11:00

I-80 Pennsylvania

2010-12-29T17:07:00.001-11:00

I took a bunch of shots on my drive back from Connecticut to Chicago this week. I recently upgraded to the iPhone 4. The new camera is MUCH better than the 3G. I've never been a big fan of all the camera apps, but I must admit, I've been having a little fun with them. Adobe Photoshop has a decent app... Camera Bag and Hipstamatic are also OK. The filters are a bit over the top, but I do like that "instant" look like the old Polaroids. -It sure as hell is cheaper.

"...survey says..."

2010-12-29T16:05:00.007-11:00

MRI: December 8th, 2010

I had my follow-up labs and scan on December 8th. The results were mixed. Labs are OK and the liver looks good. Levels are a bit skewed, but nothing major. ith respect to there MRI, there are "at least" 6 tumors remaining in the left area of the liver (that's the old section). It looks like there are no new tumors in the "new" liver at this time. The remaining tumors are stable or possibly even smaller than the previous scan. That's good news.... at best, the tumors could be smaller from the PRRT treatment. If nothing else, it's a minor imaging error and they are stable. This is good news. Unfortunately, there is a lymh node that is "irregularly shaped" and "enlarging". The local docs wanted to do an EUS and potential biobsy, but I opted to wait for the trip to Germany in just a few weeks. The node is near the heart area (epicardial). Worst case #1: It's NET that has spread to the node outide the liver, which would exclude me from liver directed therapies like Y90 therespheres. It could then only be treated by surgery or PRRT. Worst case#2: It is a new and/or hybrid cancer... of an unknown type and origin. This is a possibility. Once again, this would require treatment vie surgery or some kind of chemo. Best case, it's an anomaly or an imaging error? Local docs are concerned, yet me Surgical team is not. I'm still waiting for Baum to weigh in. A lot of these questions will be answered in the coming weeks and month. So, just when I was starting to feel like a real human again post-surgery, reality gave me a little slap. Oh yeah, forgot I had cancer.... bummer.

found sleeping...

2010-11-30T17:53:00.000-11:00

Woman Sleeping: Photographer & Subject Unknown (2001): Found 11/29/2010 (Oak Park, Illinois: Sony Cybershot 2.1 MP Camera).

I purchased an old Sony digital camera yesterday for $5 from a local thrift store. There were hundreds of images still on the SD cards. Among the series of images, I found this one of someone sleeping... creepy or peaceful? I think creepy... I'm have an ongoing project collecting discarded digital memory cards, and saving and/or retrieving the images (deleted or not). It's amazing how we photograph the most mundane things, yet hold them so dear.

The new studio...

2010-11-26T18:39:00.000-11:00

We moved into our new studio in Oak Park. We're settling in just fine and you can expect more things to come soon. The studio is located in the Harrison Street Arts District. There's still a lot of work to be done, but we're making progress. For exhibition, we plan on rotating some small photograhic collections on a monthly basis. Also in the works, a monthly "flea market" style sale. And of course, we have photobooths for public use. (More studio project details to follow in the future). If you're in the hood, drop by. We're open Monday - Friday, 10am - 6:00pm., or by appointment.

Alaska...

2010-11-26T18:22:00.001-11:00

There was snow... there was rain and ice.... there was plenty of cold and trees and lots of Andy Warhol! I had meant to post earlier, seeing as though these images are now almost 4 weeks old. I packed crappy shoes and had to buy boots... I also got a sweet hat. All in, we had a great time tooling around AK. Andrea says, "Alaska is how America looked like 100,000 years ago..." I'm not sure if she's right, but it sure felt that way.

Greek Restaurant meets Seward, Alaska

2010-11-08T21:10:00.001-11:00

That's a Halibut... Last I checked, they don't have Halibut in Greece? Maybe I'm wrong?

Anchorage, AK.

2010-11-06T11:14:00.000-11:00

So far, so good here in Alaska. We got here Tuesday night and just wrapped up 3 days of work. We have been busy setting up a booth here for the Andy Warhol exhibit at the Anchorage Museum. I'll be posting more shortly about the exhibit and trip.

ground control to major...

2010-10-15T16:40:00.000-11:00

A bathroom wall, in some bar, somewhere in Kentucky....

Summer is over and I barely witnessed the sun. August disappeared. September came and went with a jaunt to Louisville, ripe with debauchery. October started with a trip back to San Francisco and a broken heart, missing the Bay. The last few months, I’ve worked myself to a pulp, torturing my body to no end. There have been 30hr work days, back to back fabrication schedules, travel, lease negotiations, and an endless stream of events. Just a few days ago, struggling to keep my head straight, I drove my work van into my neighbor’s garage. I nearly took the damned thing down, crumbling a good chunk of structure. Drive seemed like Reverse… naturally (-Well, at least I was able to make one contractor happy… that’s my stimulus package.)

Andrea and I will be headed to Alaska in November for the Andy Warhol exhibit in Anchorage. We sold a booth to a client working with the Museum. We have been asked to set it up for the opening. So, snow boots and ear muffs it is!! …or, did global warming fix that?

The studio has been moving forward, doing well. We just leased a new space two blocks from our home in Oak Park. It’s in the Harrison Street Arts District. We’re pushing for a grand opening on November 15^th… I’m really looking forward to getting in there. Right now we are in the midst of painting, planning, and installing the essentials.

Before you know it, Thanksgiving will be here. (For Andrea and me, it’s our “Turkaversary "). Then, New Years will come faster than a snow squall and we will be pondering 2011 resolutions. I am scheduled to go back to Germany for a follow-up scan, January 31^st. Can you believe it? 2 years now…? living with NET, and it’s almost as if I managed to ignore the majority of it. Or, I’ve kept myself busy enough to forget the details. So, I’m saying it here and now… my resolution will not be to work less. I like what I do even when it hurts. My resolution will be to “make shit count…more.” If I sand wood, every stroke will be deliberate. If I post a letter, the To and From will be neatly penned, because my hand will live longer than I. When I drink a glass of wine, I’ll let it rest on my tongue just a second or two longer. I’m going to skip the turkey and eat nothing but stuffing, because the stuffing is the meal.

Architectural cemetery...

2010-08-31T14:27:00.000-11:00

Louisville, KY.

I need a hair cut...

2010-08-20T13:51:00.000-11:00

I need a hair cut...bad. I've been busy, really really life-sucking work busy which = very little time for blogging. No more doctors or tests until December 15th or so. So, that's good. I've been working on a bunch of cool stuff, but alas, will have to post about it later...

anatomy

2010-08-04T02:58:00.000-11:00

I heart illustration...

POLAROID EPITAPHS: The Bather

2010-08-03T16:57:00.001-11:00

The Bather…

Hot water turns cold so fast,
you’d hardly know that I was
headed down the drain.

I always imagined that a tornado
would be a poetic way to die.
…rip my body into the wind with
the most brutal force-vacuum,
sucking my breasts flat
and lungs full of internal gasping
all with the thunder of one-thousand
freight trains over
the prairie.

The tornado passed.

Instead,
I simply pruned
slowly-elastic in a
cast iron
tub.