the cancer switch

A great little portrait piece from my collection: 2x3" photo in glass holder, circa 1930? Mirror on Reverse. Possibly from a county fair, or similar. I love the directness of "Remember Me.." And of course, there's no smile...

Update: Today I met with the U of C Oncologist’s for my follow-up. In short, my tumors are not secreting, hence the reason why I don’t have “Carcinoid Syndrome”, i.e., no major symptoms. The stomach pains may be from the liver tumors, or, so they say? My serotonin (5HIAA), Gastrin, and Chromogranin A levels are all normal. My pathology report was also negative for Chromogranin. These are all good things. The Pathologists reviewed my slides again, and noted that the cells are “moderately differentiated”. That means that my Cancer growth is moderate, not fast and not slow. It’s a grade 2 on a 1-3 scale. The doctor hesitated to given any definitive prognosis with respect to life expectancy. From what I gather, they just don’t know. If the tumors/Cancer remain stable, I could live another 20 years! If things change, who knows? Nothing is etched in stone here. So, they want to start me on Sandostatin (1 shot/month), which is supposed to control hormone growth. The idea is, “wait and see”… in some cases, Sandostatin has been known to decrease tumor growth. So, you start the shot, and they monitor the tumors in 1-3 months. If they grow, then we switch to a more aggressive treatment, such as chemo-embilization, Y90, etc. If it’s stable, or shrinking, you stay on the drug and continue to monitor the growth. I will wait to start treatment until I meet with the NW docs., which is only a few days away. So, much is the same…. It’s still Cancer, but not moving too quickly, and possibly manageable for many years. We were told that tumor growth can be seen in a matter of a few months. It struck me after my visit that I had a CT Scan in early December, and an MRI just a few weeks ago. I should have asked if they noticed any growth, but didn’t think of this? I will follow-up on that question. Yes, you’d think they would have checked this, but I suspect they did not…

Test Results: For those in the know:
Chromogranin A: Result: 80 Ref. Range: <= 225

Gastrin: Result: 22 Ref. Range: less than 100 expected result

5HIAA (Urine): Result: 4.5 Ref. Range: <= 6.0

Primary site: We discussed briefly the potential for other invasive exams to try and find the elusive primary tumor (outside the liver), but the doctors didn’t want to take that step? I’m willing…. I’ll ask the NW docs, since I don’t want to do much more at U of C anyhow.

Note: It was also confirmed that I have Beta Thalassemia Minor… it’s nothing too serious, but hereditary, so if you’re related to me, you too may have it. You can’t do much about it… it’s basically a mild form of anemia, but deals with the physical size of your red blood cells. (Google it).

Transplant: It was discussed, but once again, not expressed as an immediate treatment option. It will remain a “last ditch” thing, if (or when) my liver fails. So, for all you folks out there who have offered to be donors, I can’t thank you enough… really, it’s the nicest thing you can do for anyone. But until you are called up to the ranks, take care of your livers!!! And yourself…

This brings me to some final thoughts… many younger folks, including my former pre-cancer self, trash their bodies… or, maybe we don’t trash them per say, but neglect them with the false assumption that youth is on our side. What I’ve learned from this experience is this; there are no guarantees. I used to say, “Fuck it, I’ll have another cigarette… who cares if I get Cancer? Besides, those will be the later years I lose…when you’re incoherent and ancient anyway.” (FYI: haven’t had a smoke in 4 years). Of course, smoking did not cause my condition… and I suppose Little Debbie’s and red wine didn’t either. However, I do believe these indulgences did not help my cause. Every time I had a cigarette, or a few drinks, I was weakening my immune system just a little bit, allowing the Cancer to grow. Can I change the past? No, but I can change my future choices. I’m not going to give up a glass of wine every once in a while, but I’ll think twice about that next glass. I’ll think twice about wearing a mask when I’m in the shop, or gloves when in the darkroom. Once you hit the Cancer switch, there’s no turning back… you live with the disease forever (even if you do get somehow get “rid” of it). And when it’s your life at stake, not just a morning hangover, you look at things a little more seriously. You start to appreciate time, and your body.